Hello good folks B-rod here to ask out there in video game land do you like zombies? How about if they take a series that is a first person brawler and make a game that say is a third person turd sandwich? Yes!? Get the fuck out of here go on get. As for the rest of you that is exactly what Escape from Dead Island is; a steaming nasty turd sandwich. Now I am not a fan of the first one or Riptide, but this takes the cake for worst in the franchise. Lets pull off this band aid and do this. The story to Escape From Dead Island could've been well done if I cared. You play privilege white kid # 186 from any and all campy horror films. Your goal is to get on the mysterious island to get incriminating evidence against generic evil corporation. OOOOO I know this is making me tense too. Now the part that had potential was this thing where your character is going crazy or is being pulled into dream state. Now I didn't finish it, just got halfway through, but they could've focused on that way more than douche bag and friends. All three of the main characters are annoying caricatures, instead of likeable protagonist. Not knowing the ending I can say there is nothing in the story to keep you on the edge of your seat. The sound effects are well existent. They are nothing special nor is the score to this game is actually either so bad I can't remember it or non-existent. The voice acting is poor with failed attempts to deliver the "comedic" lines that are given. In the beginning they have some Russian dude with an accent so bad it is like they grabbed someone from Liberia, taught them english, then told them to do a russian accent. The graphics are fucking cell shading or as I shall dub it lazy cheap ass design. Look fuck sticks from Fatshark I know games have a budget, but change the game if you can't afford actual decent graphics. I'm beginning to hate cell shading now because it is rarely used artistically. The gameplay some how takes the one and only fun part from the Dead Island series and destroys it. Killing zombies is now an annoying task that barely works. You think that you'd take the Dead Island game mechanics and just make it third person. No instead they take out the RPG element and add in a shitty hardly any fun stealth mechanic. This is only there to slow the game down, and not by a lot because I got half way through the game in one sitting. The game is challenging, but not fun challenge that takes strategy this is just the we made the zombies do more damage to you challenge. The reason I didn't finish was because the game was buggy to the point where I got stuck, and had only two choices. I could either restart from the last checkpoint or take the game out break it, and then sharpen it to go stab the executives that thought that this will be good cause retards just love zombies so much they will buy whatever shit comes their way. In the end the game is atrocious in every aspect. The gameplay is buggy and annoying, the story is lame, and the graphics are lazy, and yes the sound is even unnoteworthy. I have no choice but to condemn this game to the fiery pits of hell I give this a .5/5. The .5 is the fact it at least was a semi-playable game. It is like on a test getting a point just for putting your name on the page. I'm done here folks, but leave with a question. Do you want Dead Island series to really be a thing?
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February 2017
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