Out of all the games to get re-released I never thought that Dead or Alive 5 would be one of them. Hello everyone B-rod here, and I know normally I start with some sad pun, but this is so surprising that it got a re-release that I am just slack jawed. I played this fight game back in 2012 when it was first released and I have to say I didn't miss it one bit.
The story is, is... oh shit I haven't got the slightest clue. The first half is about these fighters all being recruited to fight in the Dead or Alive tournament. While the second half is about ninjas taking on some even corporation that was doing something nefarious. The story jumps in the timeline so much I can''t keep the continuity straight. I'm honestly not sure what the hell was going on in this game. I have never played any of the other four Dead or Alive games so I don't know if this story fits with them or if this is some new and original bullshit. All I can say is I am not into whatever they were throwing at me. I will say about 90% of the reasons on why the characters would fight was just either funny or fucking stupid. Seriously sometimes it would be, "Hey you bumped into me, lets fight!". The story is about 3-4 hours long depending on how good you are and such. The story isn't hard until you get to the end boss fight and they whiped my ass as if I was a toddler in the UFC. If you're into the story that is awesome, but if you're new maybe read the wiki before starting. The game looks pretty damn good. I dug on how the characters would sweat, and get all scuffed up in the fight. The arenas get a bit repetitive but they are destructible and that in fighting games is a must. Team Ninja of course had their ridiculous boob physics. This game will offend people with the recent sexism in gaming. While the ladies in Dead or Alive are BAMF they are overly sexualized to the point that even I would start to think is someone supposed to get off on this? Of course I would immediately never want to find out. Anyways the game looks freaking good. The voice acting is about as good as a anime so it is just ok and over acted. The gameplay is the reason why Dead of Alive has five games. This is very complicated. At the surface you can do what I do and just button mash to victory, or you can learn how to play and know how to counter multiple ways, and do combos, and wipe the floor with your opponent in mere minutes. Besides a graphic upgrade though I didn't see any improvements from the original Dead or Alive 5. I will say I avoided the online because I know I suck and didn't feel like committing suicide this week. I will say the tag team fighting is nice, while it isn't the first game to do it, this was still nice to have. The roster has a good amount of characters not too few, but also not so large that you can't master everyone. Overall I enjoy this game, but only as a rental. If I bought this it would be on the shelf never picked up again. The fighting is deep and complicated much like how they tell this story that jumps around to no end. If you're into the series getting this on the next gen seems like a good way to spend the weekend, but to newcomers I don't see this winning you over. I give this a 3.5 out of 5, it was short and confusing, but the fighting is a large amount of fun and the reason why people will stay. I leave with a question. Is Dead or Alive anyones' favorite fight game franchise? I've never met anyone who loved these games.
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Evolve is the evolution of Left for Dead. Ok, ok I just had to get that out of my system, but anyways hello my fellow video game monster B-rod is here again with another review. Evolve another four player co-op game that only works if you and your team work together. I have some gripes with this game so let us get into it.
The story of Evolve is a simple one. This colony on some planet lets just call it Endor for shits and giggles. Endor has been infested with these monsters that can either shoot fire, turn invisible or have weird black magic powers, and they are just wrecking everything they see. You can either play as a monster and do objectives like destroy the powerline, kill the hunters, breed minions, or destroy a star ship. Playing as the monster is amazing but it takes so long to unlock the next kind of creature that it's not something I want to keep playing as. I much prefered playing as a hunter. Playing as the hunter is just fantastic. Anyways the story is only about an hour and a half long, which I think is bullshit. I understand it will let me change the levels I play and it can have different outcomes. Even so that only adds up to maybe 4 hours of the same story with different outcome. There is one opening cutscene and one ending scene so if you were expecting to get to know the hunters, well prepare for the Left for Dead experience. The graphics look great in this game. The maps which consist of desert, forest and swamps all seem very detailed and partly alive. The monster design looks like miniature Kaiju from Pacific Rim, nothing wrong with that but the default monster reminds me of that. The sound design is meh. There really is no score, and the dialog is mindless and repetitive. The level with all the extra background noise does help feel like the location is infested with creatures. The gameplay is fun for the first four hours, but I don't expect anyone to love this game in the same way Left for Dead was. In Left for Dead the maps stayed the same, but shooting hundreds of zombies with friends was fun. Now hunting the monster is fun too but you repeat the same shit over and over and over. Trap, shoot, chase, trap, shoot, chase. This game is just no fun by yourself either. Your AI partners suck unless you are the monster then the hunters are fairly relentless on finding you. With other player that know what to do the person playing the monster tends to just get their ass kicked right out of the door. Of course the opposite effect when hunters haven't the slightest idea how to play as their class. The hunters consist of a medic, assault, trapper, and support. I do love how each class has to do their job for success. I personally loved playing as the trapper, and I would suggest to newcomers start with assault because their job is to just shoot the creature. The biggest problem with the online is finding a match I don't know if the servers were shit or if just no one was playing this game week one but I would sit for about five minutes just waiting for a match to start. Overall the game is very similar to Turtle Rocks Left for Dead. With a few exceptions; every class plays very differently and teamwork is key. The monster player can take on all four players if they level up quickly. I didn't hate the game but these games aren't for gamers like me who enjoy single player experiences. I say if you liked Left for Dead and I mean played for hours upon hours of it or if you have a buddy who owns this game definitely give this a shot. For the rest of you maybe, maybe rent this to see if this is for you. I give this a 3/5. It didn't do anything horrific, I don't believe in a few months that this will have any sticking power. I leave with a question. Will Evolve be a beloved as Left for Dead? Release Date: January 27, 2015 M for Mature: Genre: Action Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Developer: Techland Hello Brandon here to talk about the most athletic zombie game I've seen in a long time. Dying Light is very much like if Mirrors Edge and Dead Island had a baby. This game actually would probably be great if I gave a shit about zombies anymore. Before I get any further into this review I must say I will probably have a bias against this game because I am sick, and tired of fucking zombies. Without further ado let us get into this zombie bashing game. The story is that you play as generic white man #75 who has been tasked with retrieving a file from a warlord in this quarantine zone. Right out of the gate your character gets his ass kicked and is bitten by a zombie. Thankfully this doesn't turn into Dead Rising 2 with you constantly trying to find a cure or you die kind of thing. You instead meetup with these parkour freedom fighters; which in my opinion is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of, but you meet up with them and they train you to be a runner. The story is very predictable for the most part, but it is not your typical zombie cliche story. I was mildly interested with where the story was heading I just think they took forever to get to the next cinematic interesting story point that it starts to lose the audience's interest. I know mildly interesting is a huge selling point but compared to Dead Island it is. The characters are all boring as shit. I honestly couldn't care less, and I think the main character Crane needs to get his damn priorities straight. One minute he wants to help the survivors and the next he is completely dicking them over. It overall is a half way decent story that is nowhere near as good as Last of Us, but actually has a story unlike Dead Island. The game sounds pretty good overall except for most of the voice acting. Crane sounds a lot like a serious Nolan North. (it's not Nolan North) The voice actor is actually good, and I love having a character with a voice and opinions. The rest of the voice acting sounds like Americans doing there best Eastern European accent they could possibly do. The game graphically looks Released: January 20, 2015 Platforms: Xbox 360, Xbox One, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, PC Developer: Volition Publisher: Deep Silver Hello fellow saints, and sinners it's time to talk about Hell. Well more or less the story of how Johnny Gat went to hell to fight the mother fucking Devil. That's right I am B-rod, and I am reviewing the latest DLC for Saints Row IV. This review will more or less be a bit quicker than normal, but that is because I will only focus on the DLC and nothing more. Without further ado let us dive into Hell, and see what happens. The story is traditional to Saints Row style with your created character The Boss gets sucked into Hell that forces Johnny Gat, and Kinzie jump in to go save them. While the game is titled Gat Out of Hell you can play the entire DLC as Kinzie. She has nothing different about her except for the little bit of dialog that changes. The game lies with one aspect; that is the fact they say it is a musical but there is only one scene where they sing and that's it. Not that it ruins the experience I am just pointing out they put that on the box. Story wise there isn't much too this DLC. There are few story based missions, and most of the cutscenes are stills with a voice over narrating them. Which I think is a shame one of my favorite parts of Saints Row are the cutscenes where they have this dialog that is funny, and nonsensical. The game is surprising with how it ends where you can make a choice that will drastically change where the Saints Row universe goes depending on what you choose. (not that it matters right now anyways) The story is semi interesting but for $20 I am expecting at least a longer experience than a couple of hours. The games sound takes a dive in this DLC for one simple reason. NO RADIO. When you spend all your time flying and jumping around why would you get in a car? I do understand you aren't in the simulation, so why would the music play? They could've just said they had headphones or something or anything honestly. The game ends up being pretty quiet because of that. Graphically speaking it is better than Saints Row IV was on the PS3 but not by much. These games have that cartoony look, but they are showing the age of their engine as of right now. Also Hell looks like a slightly different Steel Port, and I'm getting a little tired of being there. The gameplay comes down to a few new enemies, a couple new weapons, and a two new powers. The new weapons are awesome they are all based on the seven deadly sins, and the powers include flying and summoning. My biggest problem with this DLC is the fact that 90% of the missions you do are just events. There are no crazy hell missions or stupid funny things like chainsawing luchadores or killing furries. It literally is the events from Saints Row IV with some Hell mixed into them. The game is roughly four hours short and that is if you are taking your time. Honestly you can breeze through this thing pretty quick. Quick tip with this game; get the armchair weapon it is so useful it turns Satan and his armies into little duckies on a shooting carnival game. In the end this DLC is only worth it if you get the double pack that has Saints Row IV otherwise it seems like a waste of money to me. Believe me that is hard for me to say I am a rabid Saints Row fan, but this just wasn't what I was hoping for. I give this DLC a 2.5/5 it had a lot of disappointments. I leave with a question. What else can the Saints Row franchise do to push the envelope? Release Date: January 20, 2015 E for Everyone Genre: Racing Publisher: Maximum Games Developer: Kylotonn Hello folks it is 2015, and I am B-rod here to be the one of five people to play, and one of two people to review Motorcycle Club. This is not some badass game that is about you joining a club and wreaking havoc on the "man" Lost of the Damned style. No you won't see any of that here. This is a racing game. Normally I would get with the games story and talk about every detail of the games mechanics, but being that there is no story and the mechanics are limited I feel like this is going to be a fairly short review in general. The game plays as a less intuitive Forza. You are racing against other racers to earn points so you can make it to the next group of races. I feel shitting for comparing this, but the racing is very similar to Mario Kart's cup racing mode. I must make this very clear in no way is the racing like Mario Kart just how the you earn points. The racing feels like I am in some horrible version of Groundhog Day racing the same track over and over. I raced in one tournament and I swear every single track was damn near the same. The truly questionable thing about this game is the line between realism and Kart racing. The game tries to be realistic with the tracks and the bikes, but then will add in speed boost, and switching bikes while moving. The game makes you switch bikes because the annoying ass mechanic of the asphalt on this road will have shitty parts that I wouldn't want my car to go over, but a chopper bike will go over much better than a crotch rocket. I honestly have no idea if there is any truth to that, but it did fuck me over a few races because the switching isn't instant unlike when the computers does it. So I know what you're thinking, "ok B-rod the racing sucks, but surely I can see some kickass crashes?" Well Allan no there are no crashes at all. Infact the game punishes you for trying to crash your opponent riders by cutting to black and putting you a couple places behind. You don't crash it just cuts to black for a second and poof behind three people. This may just be the fact I didn't play it for 18 hours but I also saw around 10 bikes (give or take). That is pathetic; even for a C tier game like this. Lets do a rundown. The game is clunky on the gameplay. There are no kickass crashes. Around 10 whole bikes with no name brands to speak of. The only positive thing I can say is that it works and is only 30$ on the PS4. I will say save the money and go buy 20 Taco Bell grillers. I give this a 1.5/5, it gets points for working. Like usual I shall leave with a question. Why do they keep making these lower quality racing games that no one will hear of? |
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